if i swore, this post would be full of colorful words.

Hello everyone, and welcome to my review of 13 Reasons Why Season 2. If you really want to read this whole thing, then thank you and good luck getting through this.

Now, I saw the trailer show up on my youtube feed and I thought, well I have to watch this, and review it, for my very small circle of people who will actually read this. My cousin sent me a message almost two months ago saying the second season is out and that she can’t wait for me to review it, and she laughed a lot. Would you believe it motivated me to do this even more? :p

So, I started watching the first episode, and began to passionately rant (I think I should make it an occupation) right here in the draft section, and I made notes during every single episode. I was sure I wanted to write this rant but I doubted it after I watched some of the more sensitive scenes. I’m not saying I hated every single scene, because I didn’t. There were some scenes and parts of the story that I liked a lot, they were cute or thought provoking, so cool, okay. But I think those nice parts paled in comparison to what I hated. Which was 90% of the show. I don’t know WHY the hell you would even think of making a season 2 for a show already so bad and problematic, in my opinion. But hey I guess there’s a demand for a season 3 as well so :)))))))))))) I found this season 1% better than season 1 though, I’ll give it that. It was still complete shit, but better.

Okay let me begin. I’m going to go episode wise.

\\ EPISODE 1- Tyler’s testifying, and he goes on about how beautiful Hannah was, and how nice she was to him. He also tells the court about how she agreed for a photoshoot and then suddenly stopped talking to him later on. Bryce meanwhile, tells people that Jessica wanted it and he never really raped her, which is the story the little shit continues to tell until the very end of the show. Alex is back from the hospital, I’m glad he’s alive- he can’t remember much of what happened earlier, before his attempt at shooting himself.

OHMYGOD THE DEFENSE LAWYER WHO REPRESENTS THE SCHOOL IN THIS WHOLE CASE IS ONE OF THE MOST ANNOYING CHARACTERS TO DATE. She actually insinuated that Hannah and Tyler were bullied because they let people do it. So, according to her, they had something to do with them being bullied, like they were the reason for their own misery. What kind of message does this show want to put out? I wish I knew, because it’s still the first episode, and it’s this bad.

Jessica is back in school after six months, and what does she see? Posters announcing to the school that she lied about what happened to her, and people calling her a slut. I have a very vital question to ask, which I had throughout every school scene actually- can schools really be this shitty? How do the teachers not know, or know and not do anything? Either way, it’s really sad.

I had a huge issue with Skye as a character. Yes you find out later that she has Bipolar Disorder, but even up until then, I really never appreciated her, at all. The stuff that she says about Hannah all the time really got on my nerves, the show did not have to include certain dialogues (in the next episode). She also says something about suicide being for the weak in season 1, and I hated her ever since.

ALSO, THE SCHOOL ‘BANNED’ TALKING ABOUT HANNAH/ALEX/SUICIDE??????? Is that how awareness is created? Seriously? Isn’t it always ‘talk about things, talk to people’? Then why is it that banning things of actual importance seems like a good idea?!?

I think Clay gets the first polaroid in this episode, which on the back says Hannah wasn’t the only one, or something. He gets one more later, of Bryce bent over some unconscious girl, whose face you can’t see.

\\ EPISODE 2- Wow yes Hannah’s ghost following Clay around is exactly what this show needs. I don’t know how I feel about Mr. Porter, he seems okay and seems like he genuinely wants to help the students, after he couldn’t help Hannah; better late than never, I guess. And why and HOW is everyone so mean to Mr. Porter? Who the hell talks to their teachers like that? How do they get away with saying things like that?

I think one of the most awkward scenes on the entire show is the dinner with Skye. Right after which she tells Clay: ‘You’re in love with a f-ing dead girl’.

Can we just. Do you see why I have an issue with this girl?

\\ EPISODE 3 Skye is obviously going through some things, and she self harms, and Clay is willing to do anything he can to help her, but she doesn’t want help- just like when he told Hannah he’d stay and she ended up screaming at him to leave. I get that people need to figure things out about why they feel certain things, and for Skye, maybe she has to figure out the harming on her own and in her own time. I just feel bad for Clay because he’s always pushed away. So many times, he tried to help someone, they pushed him away, and later, blame him for it.

Skye really keeps blaming him for thinking about Hannah. How can she even expect him to just completely put an end to his thoughts about Hannah? Skye wants him to cut her out of his life? Ugh, I don’t get it.

I also thought the blossoming friendship between Cyrus and Tyler was cool, until further events happened, and then I realized it was quite toxic.

And I think Chloe is stupid for going out with Bryce. That’s all.

“We expect them to put a label on us, and we just do it ourselves.”

// Jessica Davis //

\\ EPISODE 4- MARCUS WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT? LYING IN COURT ABOUT HANNAH LIKING BRYCE? He actually covered for Bryce and according to him, cleared Bryce’s name in court. I honestly do not understand why all the boys are so loyal to Bryce. Team Captain, so what? They always cover for him, they always support him, even when he’s doing shit to girls, and they always do what he says. He’s got himself a nice bunch of servants.

\\ EPISODE 5- The scene with Tony and Justin was nice; I liked that they confided in each other because they were both up to some stuff, and they might as well tell each other than other people who wouldn’t understand. I like that they trust each other, and aren’t killing each other.


Tyler is the outcast, I mean, he’s always been; and now that he has a group of friends (Cyrus and co.), he’s making Ryan feel like an outcast. Yes, Ryan did a bad thing by publishing Hannah’s poem, but I never thought it was that big a deal. Compared to some of the actual problems that she showcased on the tapes, I don’t think he even comes close to being a stupid reason. Nobody deserves to be treated like an outcast just for ‘dressing gay’ or being ‘classic homo’.

By this episode, I didn’t like Cyrus that much anymore, yeah he’s pretty, but he superglued the DVD player shut so the substitute teacher couldn’t play her movie; why are kids so mean to their teachers?

I had a couple of boys in my class (12th grade) who locked the door shut and didn’t let the teacher in for 15 minutes, none of us inside knew it had happened because they were so loud, and the windows were all shut and we couldn’t see anything. Our teacher came back the next day and cried in class because of all the shit that these guys pulled with her, that day and before. Treat your teachers nicely, kids. Or did they not teach you that?

\\ EPISODE 6- Zach and Hannah……okay….I really like Zach and all, but it’s really weird for them to go out. I don’t know. I  do think he’s one of the good people that Hannah had around her and chose to actually talk to. But is it even possible to keep one entire month of dating a secret? Stupid question, clearly, on this show, it is. I mean, what, nobody saw them together all the time, at the docks or cafes? They’re quick to jump to conclusions over everything, how did no one see this? I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, Hannah was happy and all, so whatever, I guess it was fine. I just find it completely unrealistic, that’s all. They were actually really cute, reading together and everything, and it wouldn’t have been weird, if he had told his friends. BUT then again, Zach probably didn’t want them to know, because they’re idiots, and they’d never let them be in peace. He knew the consequences of what would happen if he told Bryce and everyone, so he made the decision to keep it quiet.

What does Ms. Hannah take it as? ‘It doesn’t mean anything to him’. Ugh stop pls. At least for a second, she could have tried to think about his position. She knows who he’s friends with; can’t she wrap her head around the fact that she’ll get dragged even more if they find out?

Justin makes so much sense when he talks about how Hannah is called a slut because she had an interest in three guys, but when he’s been with a lot of girls, he’s hailed for that. Zach says the athletes all brag about what they did with girls, and Justin was possibly trying to show that, when you’re a guy, you’re credited for doing things like that, but when you’re a girl, and you go out with someone, you’re instantly labelled.

\\ EPISODE 7- Clay and Hannah spent a night together after doing drugs. How wonderful. Why is this season literally people being called to court to dig up dirt on Hannah? I mean, what will that do for anyone? She’s dead, I don’t know what good that will do to anyone, her family, her friends. I really don’t get it- it’s making her parents feel worse about everything. I feel like all the kids know more about each other than they really need to; the bullying and blackmailing has ever so slightly (sarcasm) increased; the bullied are becoming the bullies (Tyler really goes rogue this season).

Alex really did have the saddest birthday party ever. I mean, everyone’s miserable, they fight, he throws a fit and screams about how he would have been better off dead. He is in the middle of an arcade, screaming his head off at his parents, who are only trying to make him better. I like Alex, but he really annoyed me this season, with being so loud and showing so much attitude.

Clay uploads the tapes online, and titles it ‘Justice4Hannah’. Well that’s just great, now you want to be dragged and let everyone else be dragged.

\\ EPISODE 8- I’m sorry to contradict anyone’s views, but Clay honestly annoyed me to no end this time. More so than last season. Why would he upload the tapes, even when ghost Hannah is telling him not to? But hey finally at least Bryce is a little scared. It’s cool that the tapes are up, just to see the look on Bryce’s face. I loved the sequence of scenes where he walks into school to find ‘Rapist’ sprayed across his locker, and says it’s nothing to worry about. Then he hears his voice in the loudspeakers saying ‘All girls want to be raped’. It’s about time he worries at least a little bit. He has a legal team, and people like Senators telling everyone what a fine citizen he is, and I was 100% sure, from scene one, that he’d get away with everything, and he’s not going to pay for what he did to anybody. Bloody hell, money really has some value in this world.

\\ EPISODE 9- I was glad Bryce’s mom, at least, has the least bit of sense to suspect him of being capable of doing wrong things, unlike his dad, who thinks Bryce is an angel son. You wish, mister.

I liked how Mr. Porter actually said Bryce’s name in court as Hannah’s rapist, and strongly believed that Bryce was a bad kid. I think he’s a pretty okay man, who else would have said that he could have done more, but he didn’t? Later on, he even says that the school system needs to change.

BRYCE. The idiot conveniently lies to Chloe and says that Hannah and him ‘hooked up’ (never happened), and that she got obsessed with him (fat chance). And Chloe believes him :))))

The ending of this episode was….gutsy to say the least. Clay, Cyrus and Tyler vandalize the  field, and they narrowly escape being seen by a group of people going into some shack behind the field, which turns out to be the clubhouse place where basically, a lot of crap happened. Clay leaves then, and Cyrus and Tyler outline gasoline onto the grass and light it up. It says ‘Rapists’.

\\ EPISODE 10- I quite like Justin and Clay living together. There’s a plot twist when a former classmate of Hannah’s from her previous school testifies in court that Hannah had been a bully to her. I don’t know how I feel about that, I’ll be honest. This only gives the defendant lawyer woman she extra fire to be even more annoying than she already is, which I didn’t think was possible.

We also find out that it was Chloe in the polaroid (with Bryce bent over an unconscious girl). Zach helps them find the box full of polaroids in the clubhouse, which they take as evidence.

\\ EPISODE 11- Bryce stop lying stop lying stop lying. I was starting to believe that Chloe was becoming sensible when she agreed to testify against Bryce in court. I guess not. She takes one look at Bryce’s face and begins to change her whole testimony, saying she remembers everything that happened that day. I asked once, I’ll ask it again, why does everyone protect this damn guy? I’m sorry, but the next part is in caps because I typed it in rage.


Oh my god. Hannah is so annoying, following Clay around, spouting her damn tape about Bryce. I am sorry, but she genuinely makes me want to scream in frustration.
I don’t get why Tyler posted those pictures of him and Cyrus on facebook….what are millenials (says one herself)

Okay, people apparently have enough money, and the place has enough guns to post one to Alex. And holy shit, Bryce turned everything Hannah said into his words, and the other way round, in court. The flashback shows that he didn’t say a single thing that was true. And oh my god, the scene where he tells his mom about the night of the party. Yet another reason why I hate his guts.

Seriously, the scene at the end of the episode where Hannah is still following Clay around  with Bryce’s tape bugged me to no end. I know, it’s in his conscious or whatever the hell, but the show got a 100 times more annoying with her following him and talking about some philosophical shit, or asking him questions and UGH. So Clay goes to Bryce’s house, and calls Justin and tells him to come there. Clay stands with a gun, first to Bryce’s head, and then his own. Why? BECAUSE HANNAH IS STILL SPOUTING HER DAMN TAPE AND CLAY WANTS TO ESCAPE IT. I felt so bad for him then, because he wanted to get away from his thoughts, or consciousness or whatever he was imagining Hannah to be, and he almost shot himself for that. Thank god Justin was there to save him.

\\ EPISODE 12- My thoughts for every single episode? Shut up Hannah.

“Those guns? I have more. We can really make shit happen.”

// Tyler Down //

Most appropriate dialogue ever <applauds>

It is so clear from every single scene that something is wrong with Tyler. He is not okay, and yet, no-one seems to notice.


Mr. Porter leaves a list of ‘most critical’ students; to help them, and he says they should be looked out for basically, or there will be a next Hannah situation; when he gets to know that his employment has been terminated. He gives them to the Principal, and Tyler is the first one, but the Principal throws the files on the table and leaves. And this is why the system needs to change.

Chloe still believes Bryce, even after finding out what he did to her. Tyler is always harassed, beaten up, teased, and he has no friends, that’s probably why he turned out like this, antisocial and slightly psychopathic. And nobody bothered to help him so he couldn’t have voiced his concerns. He could have told his parents, but on this show, nobody ever does, so why change the pattern and make at least one character sensible?

\\ EPISODE 13- Bryce gets three months probation for rape, wonderful, that’s why the world is going to shit. Justin, being an ‘accessory to felony’ gets 6 months time in juvenile detention, because he has no legal guardian. I really appreciated the fact that he is being adopted by Clay’s parents.

Another thing I found kind of ridiculous, I will explain in the reasons below, but anyway, Hannah’s service happens, Clay talks, and Hannah finally makes a dramatic exit into the light.

Monty.stop.being.an.idiot. (I use idiot, because I don’t swear, so fill in with words of your choice) I don’t know why he thinks protecting Bryce will get him anywhere. Jeez please realize that Bryce is now blaming him and taking off. Monty seems to be just as messed up as Bryce. Hannah’s mom finds a paper with ‘Reasons why not (to?)’. Hannah had made a list of 11 reasons why not to commit suicide.

“No matter how many reasons there are ‘why’, there are always more ‘why not’.

// Olivia Baker //

(reasons to not make this show ever again, yes)

The scene with Monty sexually assaulting Tyler with a mop made me want to puke, and cry, all at once. It was so graphic, and I saw absolutely no reason for a scene like that. I know millions of people defend this scene saying it needed to be there, to show reality, but really, that could have been done in a much better way. Yes, male sexual assault is a very real thing, but I just didn’t like the way it was shown. I think to get the point across, this show is doing a whole lot of unnecessary things.

I feel for Tyler, I really do. Guy’s been through so much, with no support, and no friends. I don’t blame him for hating the world. He needs help, proper help.

I really like Justin, but even after being on the road to recovery, he goes back and does the injection full of heroin (I don’t know the terms sorry). I wish he hadn’t done that.

There is a scene where Nina has the box of polaroids, and she’s burning them. I also had an issue with her character. Yeah okay, she tried to ‘help’ Jessica by talking to her about what happened to them, but I still think she was quite selfish in her own ways. She never fully confided in Jess, and she barely gave her details of her life, when Jess did. And the polaroid scene really showed how selfish she is, by burning the picture of her at the clubhouse. Maybe she wants to burn away evidence that it happened to her, I’m not saying it’s bad to want that, but…

The end scene. When the country has so many school shootings going on, and its a serious issue, they bring that in to the show….? I mean, is that really a good idea? I don’t think someone who has been through, or knows someone who has been through a harrowing incident like that would like to be reminded of it, and certainly not with the suspect escaping. The fact that the only ending the show could think of was that just goes to show how bad it is. And excuse me, where are the teachers? No chaperones? Just a bunch of students and a boy with guns, escaping with the help of other students. Hmm. How realistic.

And Liberty High School wins the case against the Bakers.

You know what the best way to end this show is? END IT FOR GOOD.

13 Reasons why NOT to watch-

  1. It was pretty much 13 episodes of dragging Hannah down even further. Everyone somehow had more of the story to tell, and it all just made everything worse.
  2. Everyone is always angry, and I absolutely hated how much attitude all the kids threw to their parents and teachers. Media, having the influence it does on people, is sure to send across the message that screaming and swearing at your parents and teachers is cool, and okay to do. It. is. not. They had zero respect for people, and I have zero respect for the show.
  3. Hannah is following Clay around. Need I say more?
  4. Bryce and his friends are all bloody liars and also, set a great example to viewers. (please sense the sarcasm) ‘How to save your backside by doing illegal and immoral things 101’- by the writers.
  5. Chloe’s idiocy. She hears all these things, knows that she was raped, and still chooses to be with Bryce. ‘I believe you’, she says. Congratulations, you are officially stupid.
  6. The show gave off so many wrong messages, in my opinion. One of them being, do unto others what is done unto you. Yes, I paraphrased to fit the context better. I really don’t think taking revenge on someone for something(bullying, in this case) because it was done to you, is right. It is completely wrong, and what this show did was to constantly throw that in the plot line. Tyler was bullied, now he bullies Ryan. Clay was bullied (of sorts?) and he bullies Tyler (subtly, but still). I just think it’s really stupid.
  7. No-one does anything about the bullying. No-one does anything about kids that seem to be going through something. Tyler was clearly going through so much, and yet, nobody bothers to check on him?! Even when his camera is broken, nobody cares, and nobody does anything to either help him, or even try to find out who broke it. I honestly know next to nothing about the education system in that country, but if this is how such an influential show portrays it, I’m pretty sure a lot of people will believe it.
  8. The coach of the athletic team knowing about all the crap that the players get up to, and helping them get away with everything. He knew about the drugs, he knew about the clubhouse, he knew what they did in there. Any normal, sane person who actually wants to make kids’ lives better would report it, or at least help them himself. But no, he helps them avert all these situations, why? because they’re family. He should be the one terminated from his employment.
  9. I think, completely my opinion, that they tackled the ‘real world issues’ really crappily. That’s what I think. The depressed are never really shown to be depressed, male rape happens, but you don’t need to go to that level, suicide should not be romanticized, and ‘tackling real world issues’ doesn’t mean showing sensitive things that are happening, so ‘people can relate to it’. I think it’s a load of bullshit, I’m sorry.
  10. Completely unnecessary graphic scenes. First, Hannah’s suicide. Now, Tyler’s sexual assault. The show did NOT have to make a scene that graphic just to prove the damn point, that there are bad kids in school, they don’t accept him, he has no friends, and he is bullied. To me, it’s not reality, but I saw a lot of comments saying the show is working towards ‘shock value’, and I can’t say I disagree.
  11. In which world would people who have gone through something terrible, watch this show, and at any point, go- ‘Hey, he/she’s going through what I did, I feel so much better, now that I relate to this character.’ If you’re going to show things that happen in reality, and want to bring about awareness, please at least do it correctly. I heard someone from the show (staff or cast I don’t know) say something about being able to, through the show, make people relate. That’s why I wrote this point.
  12. What I found slightly ridiculous (as I mentioned above), was that in the last episode, all of a sudden, the Bakers were being all religious, going to a church? Yes, they say they’re not religious and everything, but I just found it very abrupt and strange for them to go to a Pastor (was he?) and talk about God accepting Hannah and everything. And suddenly, Clay begins to talk about the immortal soul, and hell. I found it very weird. There was absolutely no mention of anything remotely religious in the entire two seasons.
  13. Just, going back to season 1, the entire concept of blaming your death on other people. It did not sit well with me. I like how at least Clay addresses it, telling Hannah that the tapes were the problem, and that she started everything.
  14. BONUS- Hannah’s character was one thing in season 1, and almost the opposite in season 2. She was called shy, but now after knowing about her willingly going to Tyler’s photoshoot, she really wasn’t. And neither was she that withdrawn, she talked to Zach, Justin, Clay, Jessica, Alex, Tyler, Ryan, Courtney, and told them so much, how is she withdrawn? I just didn’t like how her character was portrayed. It was very contradictory for me. Bottomline, my problem with her started with the tapes, but didn’t end there.

I am sorry if you sat through 4000+ words of this rant. Also, thank you :’) I just got really really really really frustrated with this show, and I needed to do this. I don’t know if anyone will agree, and I skipped quite a few points and characters, but that’ll make it twice as long, so this is all I kept :p

Thank you, and please do leave a comment if you felt the same way about the show, and if you have anything to add. Bye.


ACS2: The Assassination of Gianni Versace

“You know disgrace isn’t that bad. Once you settle into it.”

SO. I was watching TV one day and as I was flipping the channels, I saw an ad for a new show, ‘American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace’. I was sold just on the fact that it said Versace, I love fashion; and crime, (if you know me, you know I love crime) and then I saw Darren Criss. That’s all. I had to watch it. I did a bit of research and found out that he was playing the killer, and I had no clue that Versace was assassinated. So I began watching it, and the premiere episode itself, I was hooked; I knew I’d be dedicated and watch religiously. My mom watched it with me too, because she also likes crime (at times, when I’m not forcing her to watch something like Hannibal while eating dinner).

Anyway, I missed the second episode itself <rolls eyes> So much for being ‘dedicated’. I went to my best friend’s house the day after the 5th episode aired, and I made her watch. She was hooked too, so we watched the first two episodes together. I realized then, that TV was censoring out some important scenes that added to the plot line, so I switched to watching online. But yes, bottom line, watch it online, make sure you have subs, or earphones on with the highest volume. None of the characters speak very loudly.
I dont even know why this paragraph is here, I apologize.

It was brilliant, I thought. Like, really. It is based on the book ‘Vulgar Favors’, which I really want to read now after watching the show.
The gist of the show, in my words:
The first shot is set on July 15, 1997. Gianni Versace is currently in his Miami house (mansion) and he goes out to buy some newspapers. The mansion faces the beach by the way, and the show was shot in the actual Versace home. As he goes back home, he is shot by a man (Darren Criss) and collapses at the gate of his house. A man (Antonio, his partner, played by Ricky Martin) comes out from the house and screams for help to the bystanders.
Criss, who plays Andrew Cunanan (the killer, and part of, apparently, one of FBI’s biggest failed manhunts), is an unreliable narrator, to say the least, making up stories to tell each person that he meets throughout the episodes. The plot, as such, goes backwards, and shows all the other murders that Cunanan has committed, along with character backstories.

Thats the gist, and I have a lot to say about the show, so get some food or a beverage (no alcohol, kids) and sit if you want to actually read through this whole post :p

Okay, first off, the casting. I cannot cannot cannot get over the casting on this show. I will insert pictures to prove that the casting was impeccable and almost scarily, uncannily similar to the real people. I will talk about the casting as well as the characters themselves here.

Young Andrew- Darren Criss as the older Andrew- the real Andrew Cunanan


Edgar Ramirez as Versace- the real Gianni Versace (is this not freaky)


The real Donatella Versace- Penelope Cruz as Donatella


The real Antonio D’Amico- Ricky Martin as Antonio



//// Andrew Cunanan is the main lead of the show, not Versace, as the title might suggest. But the reason for the show being named after Versace makes sense, because that’s the incident that finally brought Cunanan into proper notice, and what pushed him over the edge, maybe. Darren Criss, I cannot explain in words how good his acting was. His charm, his little dimples, his attire, the way he spoke, everything seemed to match 100% with the details given about the real Cunanan, as given by his family and friends.

His character, from the very first episode, is shown to be charming, intelligent (IQ of 147) and subtly at first, but then clearly- a prolific liar. He lies his way through things, he seems to have suffered from antisocial personality disorder, which according to what I read, causes the lack of empathy, which is exactly what Cunanan has. More on this later. He lies about his personality (he says in the first episode, ‘I tell people what they need to hear,’ insinuating that he told gay people he was gay, and straight people he was straight. He was, in fact, gay, and also an escort). He tells his friends, Lizzie and another guy (unnamed) in the first episode, how Versace invited him to his Opera show. This scene, set back in 1990, is explained further, as we see that in reality, Cunanan had faked an Italian background, just to talk to Versace. But he really did go to the Opera, and that night was what made Cunanan do what he did, which is explained in the last episode.

It’s also cool how they added some small details, to add to his character- he ends up eating in times of distress, or after a killing, or before a killing. He always tells people the same lies- this really stood out to me, because its hard for someone to keep up the same lies all the time. It was always that his father owned pineapple plantations in the Philippines, and that he was writing a book, and that he had a lot of money from all his clients. He also always tells people he is better with older men, and not people his age, which shows as the show progresses, how many older men he has as clients.

Cunanan essentially started his killings way before Versace, killing 4 other people. I get the feeling that the smallest of things were what triggered him to kill.

  • Jeff (Jeffrey) Trail, the first victim, was his close friend, and an ex- US Navy Officer. They got into a small fight, and Cunanan killed him with a hammer, in front of their mutual friend, and Cunanan’s ex-love interest, David Madson, who is the next victim.
  • David tells Cunanan that they cannot live a happy life together, not after what he did to Jeff, and Cunanan tells him ‘We could have been happy’, before shooting him. Cunanan really did love David though, which is clear till the very last episode.
  • Lee Miglin, the third victim, had probably the most horrific end. He was a 70+ year old famous architect, one of Cunanan’s clients, who tells him that their relationship cannot be real, and indirectly says that finance is the key point in their ‘relationship’, if thats even what it can be called. Cunanan, as revenge, or for whatever reason, gags Miglin’s face with duct tape, throws bags of cement on him and uses a hacksaw to kill him. He kills and leaves the body in the garage, after placing several gay pornographic magazines around him, to prove to the world that Miglin was not who he said he was. Possibly, I think, because Miglin says their relationship cannot be ‘real’ (because he was married to a very successful businesswoman), and Cunanan knows that the world doesn’t know the real Lee Miglin.
  • The fourth victim, William Reese, was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. Cunanan kills him and takes his car to go to Miami. Cunanan is polite, even in the case of a killing. He asks Reese- ‘Is there a downstairs? Can I lock you in there?’ He may have hesitated for a moment, but makes his decision to shoot him once Reese tells him that he has a family that he would like to see again. Its possible that Cunanan made up his mind, because of his strange and strained childhood.
  • Gianni Versace, the final and the most famous victim. He, on the night of the Opera, tells Cunanan that they cannot be together, and that rejection finally pushed him to the edge.

What is so different, in a very strange way, is that you cant help but empathize for Andrew Cunanan. Yes, he was a serial killer, but some scenes honestly just b r o k e my heart. In one episode, where him and David are on the run, he sits in a cafe, listening to the live singer there, while David is in the bathroom. The woman sings about who will be home when you call, will you have someone to go home to; and Cunanan sits, in the middle of the cafe, and just silently cries.
Another scene that made me want to punch something (out of sadness and anger both) is in the last episode, where, Cunanan, currently hiding from the police (after Versace’s murder), calls his estranged father from a payphone, and tells him that he is in trouble and that he needs help. He sobs while talking to his father, and the father promises him he’ll be there in 24 hours, and also tells him, ‘Men don’t cry, remember?’ By the time Cunanan goes to his hideout (a houseboat) after packing his bags, his father is giving an interview on tv, insisting that Cunanan isn’t gay, and can’t be. I wanted him dead.
There are some scenes from his childhood, where the father (Modesto), treats Cunanan, the youngest of four siblings, like a Prince, and on the side, calls him out for ‘not being a man’. Modesto keeps calling him weak because Andrew cries. He blames him for being weak minded like his mother and calls him sissy, slaps him and says ‘be a man’ and repeatedly telling him, ‘you don’t have it in you’.

Screen Shot 2018-05-10 at 12.34.56 AM

(sorry about the blurred face, I panicked)

Some iconic scenes of Andrew Cunanan- (THE FIRST 2 ARE LINKS PLEASE OPEN THEM)
1. Pump up the jam Till 45 seconds. This scene is right after the murder of Jeff Trail, and you can see how he has no empathy. This is my all time favourite scene from the entire show, I think Criss is genius.
2. Gloria Till 45 seconds.
3. All the scenes where he dances in parties and/or other places too

Lastly, there are two more iconic scenes I’d like to talk about. Last episode, he watched as the news channels talked about him being the only suspect in these murders on TV, and a bottle of champagne pops open while he’s watching. He laughs in shock, and ends up laughing his head off, clutching his stomach. I found that scene genius.
And he eats dog food out of desperation in the last episode, because he is holed up in that house boat for days. It was so sad, but so real.

The last few minutes of the show have live coverage of the hunt for Cunanan, broadcasting live how the police is going into the house and everything, and the last thought that Cunanan has before he shoots himself is- ‘I’m so happy right now’, which is what he says to Versace the night of the Opera.

Now, lastly for my lecture on Cunanan, I think Darren Criss was genius, and I think he fit the role perfectly, and I’m not saying it just because I love Darren Criss (I love him, if you can’t tell already), but genuinely, he moulded and fit the character to a glove. I read a lot about the real Cunanan, and I think the show did complete justice to him. Ryan Murphy, thank you for this show.


// The show dealt with real problems such as homophobia; as seen in the case of Antonio, Versace’s partner, who doesn’t get any understanding from the people, or even Donatella, about his love for Gianni; they lived together for 15 years but there is still no consideration for their relationship. The most harrowing scene is when the priest at Versace’s funeral service let’s everyone kiss his hands except Antonio. This leads Antonio to attempt committing suicide by overdosing on pills.

There is a scene in the last episode where Ronnie (one of Cunanan’s friends and fellow druggie), gives the police some statements. All his lines have a sinister undertone, and gave me goosebumps, showing the real situations back then in the 90’s.

“You were disgusted by him, long before he became disgusting. You’re so used to us lurking in the shadows, and, you know, most of us, we oblige. People like me, we just, we drift away. We get sick, nobody cares.”

Here, he is talking about how the police, and society in general, never cared for the homosexuals, and how they never gave them a second thought. He speaks for the entire LGBTQ+ community back then, I feel, when he says this, talking about how nobody cares about their condition.
There is a scene in the beginning of the show where the FBI has flyers printed with Cunanan’s details, but doesn’t actually distribute them, because they think its unimportant. They also don’t listen to the local police officer, a woman, who insists that they check all the gay clubs around Miami, seeing as Cunanan was a gay prostitute, which the FBI dismisses. Turns out, that is where he goes most frequently, and the police could have caught him earlier, but didn’t.
Versace and Antonio being partners is also treated as a huge deal, along with the fact that they had escorts frequently visit the house.

Ronnie also tells the police: “Andrew is not hiding, he’s trying to be seen.” This is one of truest things said on the show, among several others. Cunanan is desperate for attention, and doesn’t want to be hidden in the shadows, he wants the world to see him. Everything he does, he does in plain sight; he uses his real name and identity, never tries to hide it, almost as if he wants to be caught, and the world would know who he was. He always tries to be the center of attention, whether it was in school, college, or later in life. He uses his real name everywhere he goes, and in a pawn shop, he gave his ID, but the woman never paid attention, because the police never put out the notice for until after a week of the murder spree. There is also a scene at a party at a gay club, where amidst the loud music, a guy asks him what he does, and Cunanan replies, “I’m Andy. I’m a serial killer.” He also calls himself a stockbroker, and several other things. He reveals his entire name as well. The guy laughs it off, not knowing anything about manhunt, because it was still not out in the media.

He always wanted to be (and was voted in high school) ‘A name to be remembered by’.

// I loved how the show took its story backwards. The first episode began with the last killing, and each episode showed flashbacks with Cunanan’s older victims and their backstories, adding so much clarity to the plot. It was different, and something I’d never seen in any show before. It really left an impact, and made sure you didn’t miss the next episode, because you’ll have to watch it to know what happened earlier. I also loved how the last two episodes were when we found out about Cunanan’s childhood, showing us why and how he became what he was.

// The scenes with Modesto, Cunanan’s father, were so frustratingly good. I hated the character with all my heart, which was obviously the intention. There is a shot with Modesto telling Andrew about how his mom was sick, and he was the one who took care of him when he was growing up. At this point, Modesto gets Andrew a car. Andrew closes the car window and the moms reflection shows up, perhaps symbolic of how he cut her out from his life, piece by piece, memory by memory. I’ve inserted the screenshot of the scene here:

Screen Shot 2018-05-24 at 12.04.20 AM

// Another character I loved was Mrs. Miglin. Her acting was so real. When Lee dies, she refuses to look at the body, or to hear anything that the police had to say. Whether she knows about him being gay is unknown to the viewers. Her reactions to the public wondering if she was even sad about her husbands death were brilliant. She always has a made-up face, looking calm and normal, and a few days after the death, she removes the makeup. If people see her makeup coming off when she cries, she wonders about their reactions, which is why she kept a cool, composed face until now. I found this entire sequence brilliant, showing how the media and the public generally portray and see celebrities, and never leave them alone in peace.

// Cunanan’s best friend, Lizzie, gives a statement on television, in the last episode, when he is in hiding. To me, these are the words that pushed him to surrender and kill himself. I think the fact that the words came from the only person who loved him in the entire world really made him realize how much trouble he was in, and that he saw no choice but to kill himself. This is what she says: “I know that the most important thing to you in the world is what others think of you.” This is so true, considering the fact that he always wanted the attention, and constantly wanted people to know things about him, and the fact that he needed to get feedback and know what people thought of his actions and his background.

He feeds lies to Versace as well, about him writing a book, and that he was going to publish it soon. Versace believes him, and tells him about how he needs to finish writing the book, and that he was sure it’d do well. Cunanan asks Versace if he could be his protege and help him out, but Versace declines politely, telling him he didn’t need any assistants right now. This also adds to Cunanan’s rage against Versace.

// You can see how Andrew got the compulsive lying. Modesto, in the last episode, while being interviewed about Andrew, lies on tv saying they discussed movie rights to his life story and that they’re talking to several studios about releasing it soon. He was also the one who taught Andrew to always be polite, and to be good mannered. It is shown in the last two episodes where Modesto gives him books about manners, and even sends him to a prep school.

Now, coming to small descriptions about the other characters. Small, I promise. Promiseeeeeeee.

  • Gianni and Donatella Versace- Both these characters were well rounded, and wonderful actors. Edgar Ramirez and Penelope Cruz did a brilliant job in portraying the Versace siblings. The fights, the affection, the remorse, the love, everything was so real.
  • Antonio D’Amico- Ricky Martin!!!! I also watched the show because I saw his name in the cast :p* His character was such a sad one. He was never accepted by society, as Gianni’s partner. Donatella hated him and said that he never gave Gianni anything, no family, no kids, nothing, and if he had, she would have had some respect for him. It was also speculated that he gave Versace HIV, which wasn’t true in the end. Antonio was really nice, because he really loved Gianni, and he proposes to him too, saying they should get married, and forget the world around them.
  • David Madson- Ohmygod, my poor heart. David was genuinely the sweetest guy, and it felt like he ignored the voices in his head saying bad things about Andrew, because he really liked him. It was almost as though he had Stockholm Syndrome when practically kidnapped by Cunanan. He had a chance to escape from the bathroom (in the cafe), but he chooses to come back, showing that maybe he still had a soft spot for Andrew. His childhood and youth was sad too, and the strained, but very happy relationship with his father plays in the back of his head when he is shot.
  • Jeff Trail- His character was also so so sad. He was gay and in the Navy, which was something that was unacceptable at the time. The Chief in the Navy gives out handbooks to all the officers about informing higher authorities if they knew that someone was gay. One night, Jeff is seen comforting another man; the next morning, the books are handed out as a warning. The man, after being beaten up, tells the Chief all the people that he knows are gay, and he mentions a man with a tattoo, meaning Jeff (no one knows). He tries to cut his tattoo off but stops because of the very apparent blood, and later tries to hang himself, but stops.
  • Lee Miglin- An old man, who is very well known for his architectural abilities, has some secrets. When his wife is out of town on business, he calls his escort, Cunanan. Explained above^^

Extra admiration for the young Andrew Cunanan, he was genius. He took on the smallest of details that Darren Criss had in his character; things like a small smile, a smug look, and the polite charm of someone who you would never have thought to be a psychopath.

‘What if you had a dream your whole life that you were someone special but no one believed it?’

// Andrew Cunanan //

Here are some very cool articles and videos that I found about the whole incident.
1. Facing death
2. Five lives cut short
3. Video (Who was Gianni Versace’s killer?)

Here are some screenshots I took from the show, that I liked.

These are both from the last episode, the one on the left is after he hears on the media that he is the only suspect, and the one on the right is of him eating dog food.

Screen Shot 2018-05-24 at 12.02.21 AM

Sorry for the bad quality, but this is one of my favourite shots in the entire show.

// The entire show was shot beautifully, and the locations were shown in all their grandeur, especially the Versace mansion. The characters all looked the part, and certainly played the part. I found that adding subtle hints of symbolism in the episodes really made a difference.

Thats all :p* I hope everyone who reads this enjoys. I don’t even know if anyone will read this but I really wanted to talk about the show because it impacted me so much, and the characters really shone. Simply brilliant show. I would highly recommend it to everyone. There are a few scenes that are a little hard to watch, but you’ll get used to it.
Bye now 😀

P.S. Darren Criss said this in a first look video I found, I think it encapsulates the entire show:

“Truth is, you know, fear and prejudice, unfortunately, is always in fashion.”

Planner: May 2018-April 2019

I made a planner/bullet journal for one of my closest friends, Hanifa (you can follow her blog here , she does very cool makeup and beauty reviews and lots of other cool stuff) and I thought I’d upload the videos of a flip through of sorts of all the months. My best friend took the first ten months’ pages, and the last two were by Hanifa ❤ thanks you two for making my blog look presentable. There’s a reason I didn’t even attempt to shoot these myself, I’d be terrible :p*

Most of the months were inspired by Amanda Rach Lee on her YouTube channel. She’s genius, and as soon as I stumbled upon her Planner videos, I knew I had to make one. I know I would never make it if it was for me, so the one person I knew would use it was Hanifa. Except October, the rest were inspired by Amanda Rach Lee. I changed quite a bit, but the themes were hers. Enough rambling, here are the links to the videos.

I had to upload each video on Vimeo and link it here because my wordpress plan is the free one. Sorry about that :/


Anyway, the pages are-
1. The cover page, two pages of a monthly calendar for events,
2. A Habit Tracker page (Basically, you put a mark next to each habit, for each day, if you’ve done it. I put in Reading, Art, Guitar, Drinking lots of water, Good Sleep, and Love Yourself, which could be self-care, or self-appreciation, or could just be the BTS album),
3. Random Ideas page (it changes from June to ‘Brain Dump’),
4. Pages for the Daily Planner, with more space to actually write down tasks and important things, and the last page for-
5. Notes.

I’m going to mention below, the theme, the quote that I included in the pages (couldn’t include pictures of that, sorry), and the link to where the video can be viewed.

May 2018.

Theme: Stars.
Quote: ‘I confess I do not know why, but looking at the stars always makes me dream.’
[Vincent Van Gogh]
Open here.

June 2018.

Theme: Leaves
Quote: ‘The dead leaves that are becoming shriveled, The silence inside your aloof heart, Please don’t fall.’
[Autumn Leaves- BTS]
Open here.

July 2018.

Theme: Daisies
Quote: ‘Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.’
Open here.

August 2018.

Theme: Clouds
Quote: ‘Be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud.’
[Maya Angelou]
Open here.

September 2018.

Theme: Crystals
Quote: ‘Too weird to live, too rare to die.’
[Panic! at the Disco]
Open here.

October 2018.

Theme: Halloween(ish)
Quote: ‘Double double toil and trouble, Fire burn and cauldron bubble.’
Open here.

November 2018.

Theme: Swirls/Waves
Quote/Word: ‘Strikhedonia (n): The joy of being able to say “to hell with it!” ‘
Open here.

December 2018.

Theme: Snowflakes
Quote: ‘There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort.’
[Jane Austen]
Open here.

January 2019.

Theme: Fireworks
Quote: ‘She had a mind like a box of fireworks & hands that played recklessly with matches.’
Open here.

February 2019.

Theme: Roses/Flowers
Art: The ‘Love Yourself’ flower from the BTS album.
Open here.

March 2019.

Theme: Cacti
Quote/Art: ‘Cute little prickle pickle.’
Open here.

April 2019.

Theme: Hearts
Quote: ‘I appreciate the masterpiece that is you, because your existence alone is art.’
[BTS- Haruman]
Open here.

Well, thats it 🙂 I hope everyone enjoys this post, I had a lot of fun making the planner, and god I had attachment issues giving it away :P* Buuuut I’m glad I did, because she’s using it well :’)

Bye bye ^.^

Jan/Feb/March Favourite Books

Hiiiiiiii. I know. I know. Its literally the same thing i say every single time I post something on here. “Im sorry its been so long”. But yeah sorry it has been 😛
Hey I just graduated today so, yay I guess. Which is why I haven’t had the time to post here.

Well, I figured, as a way to write more on the blog, and to write in general, I would do book reviews every three months, just to change things up a little from the usual end of the year reviews, because I realized I was forgetting the stories 😛 So this post is of my favourites, and somehow as a crowd pleaser, I have never gotten so many likes on a post as I have on the least favourite books of 2017; so the next post will be my least favourite books this year. Let’s get into it then, shall we?

  1. The Girl in the Tower (Winternight Trilogy #2)- Katherine Arden

    “Every time you take one path, you must live with the memory of the other: of a life left unchosen. Decide as seems best, one course or the other; each way will have its bitter with its sweet.”

    I’m not going to lie, the characters in this book honestly annoyed me. Like a lot. Many of the characters, I found, weren’t as well developed as the first book. The first book had the priest and some more ‘evil’ characters, but in this book, Kasyan Lutovich just almost made me stop reading the book. I found his character extremely (to the levels that cannot be described) sexist and misogynist. God, was he annoying, every word that came out of his mouth, I wanted to punch him.
    Even Vasya, to an extent, annoyed me. I don’t know what it was, maybe it just didn’t have the entire charm of the first book, but it was still good. It had the winter filled, historic charm to it, but I found it a little lacking in terms of character development.
    All this being said, I actually enjoyed the story as it is. New folklore, new tiny creatures helping Vasya out, and more Morozko. I live for Morozko, I love the guy…demon…guy. I really hope he comes back in the final book. I also, like before, loved the atmospheric element to the book, I could picture everything as it happened, and I really liked the author delving into the lives of Vasya’s siblings as well.
    It was a great start to the reading year.
    4/5 stars.

  2. Lair of Dreams (The Diviners #2)- Libba Bray

    “For dreams, too, are ghosts, desires chased in sleep, gone by morning. The longing of dreams draws the dead, and this city holds many dreams.”

    Oh.My.God. I’m pretty sure I had the same reaction for The Diviners last year, but holy shit. How is Libba Bray so good at creating this world, taking this historical time and era that she hasn’t lived in, and turning it into this magical tale of something so horrific. That sentence was weird, I apologize. But honestly, the fact that the book is about dream walking, finding clues and people only in your dreams, and nowhere in real life is so cool, but also terrifying. The description of the dream world, also called the sleeping sickness, is so real, and so easy to imagine, its scary.
    The man in the stovepipe hat wasn’t as scary as Hobbes from the first book, but he was still creepy 😛 The characters in this book were great, and I loved the inclusion of the Chinese protagonist, Ling, and Bray shows the world as it is- racist. Ling dreams to get away from the society that doesn’t accept it, because in her dreams, she can be who she wants, and no one has anything against her. Also Henry DuBois is amazing. His story just killed me, and the way he acted when it came to certain situations was brilliant and one of the most realistic portrayals of sheer pain I’ve read.
    Evie and Sam. My heart. I wanted them to be together so bad <cries> Jericho isn’t bad, but SAM. I love Sam, I laughed so much at his nicknames for Evie. Ugh.
    Anyway, totally fell in love all over again with this book, going to pick up the third book very soon. Summer reading goals, hopefully.
    5/5 stars.

  3. Feminist Fables- Suniti Namjoshi

    We had one of her stories for our Literature class, and my god, I’m glad I read the entire book. It was a little bit of an overdose because I read it in one sitting, but man, she’s genius. Namjoshi is a radical feminist, and a radicalesbian, who rewrote fairy tales and other myths in her own ingenious way, inspired by a sabbatical she took in England, and a protest by other radicalesbians, who thought that the one of the (several) things controlling women was the requirement of heterosexuality.
    She flips the myths we know on their heads, and turns them into something completely different. Some of the myths are from Greek mythology, some from the Panchatantra, some the Brothers Grimm, and they are all beautiful and very very thought provoking.
    5/5 stars.

  4. Blood for Blood (Wolf by Wolf #2)- Ryan Graudin9780316405140

    “Monsters cut children open and call it progress. Monsters murder entire groups of people without blinking but get upset when they have to wash human ash from their garden strawberries. Monsters are the ones who watch other people do these things and do nothing to stop it.”

    Okay, I really liked the book, but not as much as the first one. Mainly because LUKA <SCREAMS INTO THE ABYSS> asdfghjklzxcvbnmqwertyuio
    Moving on. The reason why I didn’t enjoy the book as much as the first one was just that I found this book to be a bit of a drag, and to be honest, Yael wasn’t as badass as she was in the first book :/ I also found that the characters got a little…under developed? can I even say that? I don’t know. I liked the whole Hitler angle, obviously, thats what makes the books so cool, but the story line in general dragged quite a bit.
    I still gave it a good rating, keeping aside the fact that Luka’s gone.
    4/5 stars.

  5. Opal (The Raven Boys #4.5)- Maggie Stiefvater

    “Sometimes bad ideas were so bad they looped right around until they became good ideas.”

    Even though it was a short story, I will never stop expressing my love for Maggie. She is genius, and this story, I read it with my best friend, and we laughed so much, we had to stop for a few minutes before going on. And of course, we squealed at Adam and Ronan <squeals>
    5/5 stars.

  6. Cycle of the Werewolf- Stephen King

    “There is nothing of God or Light in that heartless sound – it is all black winter and dark ice.”

    First off, I didn’t know this book existed until I saw it at the book exhibition, and it was really cheap and in great condition, I had to try it. I’m glad I bought it.
    The illustrations were great, and I liked the story progression a lot. It was a very short book, but I don’t read many graphic novels so this was a welcome change from novels.
    Creepy, true Stephen King style.
    4/5 stars.

Special mentions-

  • Waiting for Bluebeard- Helen Ivory
    I picked it up at the British Library because I had a phase where I obsessed over the Bluebeard tale 😛 This book was basically a series of poems written in free verse, about how a girl’s life would be if she happened to live in Bluebeard’s house. I couldn’t find a quote because it only has 38 ratings on goodreads and nobody has saved any quotes. I found this book really really creepy, with several subtle not-so-subtle hints at murder and decapitated bodies. Just how I like it. <smirks>
    4/5 stars.
  • Americanah- Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

    I read this book for a Literature written presentation. I googled ‘books with multiculturalism’ and found this. Multiculturalism was my topic, and I wrote a reallyyyyy long assignment on this book, well over 3000 words. I basically discredited Multiculturalism as a concept because I do not think the world really adopts the concept at all. Anyway, the book, I liked it, I liked some parts of the story line, and some parts I found totally irrelevant and unnecessary but also problematic. The characters, especially the protagonist Ifemelu, I had several problems with. I apologize, it could be because of my lack of knowledge of African American history. But the book gave me several insights into life in America, and how I don’t really want to go there anymore. And some lines in the book were outstanding.
    3/5 stars.
  • A Room of One’s Own- Virginia Woolf

    I also read this for Literature class, for my final paper 😛 I really liked this in parts, mostly when she talks about women’s writing breaking barriers and boundaries, and going beyond the set rules. She talks about how, by the time women had started to write, men had already predesigned structures that apparently, had to be followed. She finds a book on the shelf written by a Mary Carmichael, which talks about two women in love. Woolf talks about LGBT rights, and how this woman broke the barriers of two people in love having to be a man and a woman. It was slow, but very enlightening.
    4/5 stars.
  • The Invention of Hugo Cabret- Brian Selznick
    Beautiful illustrations, okay-ish story.
    4/5 stars.
  • Luka and the Fire of Life- Salman Rushdie
    I loved the worlds he created, just as he did in ‘Haroun and the Sea of Stories’. From the middle of the book, it got a little boring though, and the ending left me disappointed.
    3/5 stars.
  • Politically Correct Bedtime Stories- James Finn Garner
    Just as the title says, fairy tales made to suit the modern world, full of satire. It was amazing.
    5/5 stars.

That’s about it for the favourite books list. Soon (and I actually mean soon) I will post least favourites.

My least favourite books of 2017.

Hello! Happy New Year, everyone ^.^ I could have started the year off with a different post, but I love ranting every now and then, so hey :p
I apologize in advance for anyone who has contradicting views to mine, I’m just expressing my opinion, thats all.

Let’s begin.

  1. The Road- Cormac McCarthy

    “Keep a little fire burning; however small, however hidden.”

    I dived straight into this book, I was so excited, knowing it won a Pulitzer. I ordered it and started reading it the day it arrived. I was left sorely disappointed. I expected more emotion, I guess, which is why it left me disappointed and very disoriented to be honest. The narrative style was, to me, simply in one word, boring. Here’s an excerpt:
    He took out the plastic bottle of water and unscrewed the cap and held it out and the boy came and took it and stood drinking. He lowered the bottle and got his breath and he sat in the road and crossed his legs and drank again. Then he handed the bottle back and the man drank and screwed the cap back on and rummaged through the pack.”

    Okay, honestly. Apparently the book is praised for having simple prose and language, but in the matter of being simple, it got really boring. I did not get the point of all this description, non-stop description, and these conversations between father and son without quotes, or proper punctuation. IT BOTHERED ME. A LOT. The fact that the story is supposed to representative of being weary travelers who don’t really know what to do, I understand, but did the actual structure of the book have to be like that too? It was so so so so repetitive (i made a small pun haha) and the kid literally asked his father the same questions over and over again, and the father just either answered with a ‘yes’ or ‘no’, some deep, philosophical answer, or simply stared into the distance.
    Basically, I did not like this book very much. I’m sorry, maybe I just don’t understand it.

  2. A Court of Thorns and Roses/ A Court of Mist and Fury- Sarah J. Maas

    “To the stars who listen, and the dreams that are answered.”

    One of my best friends was visiting me during the summer holidays this year (she gives me all the BEST book suggestions every single year- shoutout to bunk), and that was when I borrowed ‘A Court of Thorns and Roses’ from the library. One look and she told me I wouldn’t enjoy it much, I still managed to finish it. She was right, I did NOT like it.
    I’m not a HUGE fan of fantasy, I have a very specific type of fantasy that I like, this was not it. I have quite a bit to say, so bear with me. <deep breath>
    It started off okay-ish, with the mortal world, and the cliché poor girl (Feyre) who hunts and brings food to her kind of useless father and her two idiot sisters (one is okay), but doesn’t like her life, sort of situation. It was highly cliché, but not very boring, or stupid, which is exactly what the rest of the book was. Anyway, she accidentally kills a Fae in disguise (a wolf), and soon, some guy (who is built like a beast) comes to her house and claims that, her punishment will be ‘a life for a life’, which you would expect to be either her death, or a sacrifice from someone in her family, but nooo.
    She’s taken to the other side of ‘the wall’, which is the Fae land, and people compared it to ‘Beauty and the Beast’…….its not even close, can I just say? Basically, this other side is where Tamlin (beast guy) keeps Feyre captive, of sorts. In my opinion, its not captivity because first off, she has no punishment other than being here, while her family is safe and being taken care of; second, she has everything she needs in the ‘castle’, and she isn’t all that sad about being taken away. WHERE IS HIS PROMISED PUNISHMENT? I sound like I’m a sadist, I’m not. I’d just like to know where that ‘life for a life’ went.
    Anyway, she makes some friends, goes hunting, asks Tamlin about these mystical creatures, and lo and behold, runs into them soon enough, tries to fight them, and is saved by Tamlin. Wonderful. So original. Later, she finds out about this woman who kind of controls Tamlin and all the other Courts (Summer, Winter, Night, etc.) and she wants to go fight her :)))) How dumb can she be? Answer- very. Whatever. She goes, gets into all sorts of trouble, fights, bleeds, half-dies, kills, all that jazz, blah blah.
    The ONLY saving grace to the first book was Rhysand, this guy from Night Court. He’s sassy, he’s cool, covered in tattoos, and has wings. I love the picture of him in my head. I think I managed to get through the first book, waiting for his parts of the story.
    I don’t know why but my dumb brain decided to read the second part too, ‘A Court of Mist and Fury’. I’ll admit, it was a little better than the first, but still. I plowed through over 1000 pages of this nonsense in one month. There was more of Rhysand, so I preferred it over the first one.
    Bottomline(s)- I hated, hate, will hate Tamlin with a passion. He’s egotistical, he is controlling as heck, thinks of Feyre as some toy at times (says he loves her though, wowwwww), controlling, annoying, and did I mention, controlling? He. locks. her. in. the. castle. because. she. doesn’t. listen. to. him. She doesn’t take no for an answer and asks him to let her train for a fight, which is good, if it happens, but no, he has to do everything himself and doesn’t want her doing anything. Idiot. He (if my memory serves right) breaks a door, or windows or something made of glass and walks out of the castle after casting a spell over it to keep her in :)) How do people like this guy? I wanted to go throw him down from his own balcony.

  3. Milk and Honey- Rupi Kaur

    “let us end
    in it too”

    Um. Okay, I apologize in advance, but wow, was this disappointing for me. The reviews for it were some of the best I’d seen all year, and I liked the cover, so I picked it up. I finished it in a day, during college hours, I’m not saying I flew through it because it was so good, I read that fast because I was hoping to see something I’d like a lot.
    I completely understand that it is a very personal collection of stories and everything, but I wish it was presented better. I read a review on goodreads that called it ‘a series of tumblr posts’, and I could not agree more. It looked like one sentence, just broken down with the ‘enter’ button hit every now and then, making it look poetic, but it just didn’t give me the impact that other people got.
    The art on some of the pages was very good, a few of the poems were okay, but for the majority, I found it quite unappealing, the amount of white space, and the content and everything. I found one very contradicting thing she says- the book is divided into four parts, and in one part she says something about not wanting/needing a man, and then in an alternate part, she says something about asking a man to come to her……………….so……..like, she literally says ‘i don’t want to be friends, i want all of you’……
    I wish to someday try another one of her books someday.

  4. The Vegetarian- Han Kang

    “Why, is it such a bad thing to die?”

    Hands down, the strangest book I read all year. I picked it up for two reasons- It won the Man Booker, and its by a Korean woman.
    I’m torn on thinking I regret reading this book, but also, it was an experience. I’m going to go with it was an experience, I don’t regret reading a single book, ever.
    This book though, had a very interesting premise. A Korean lady turns vegetarian. It might not sound like a big deal, but Koreans live on meat, and their side dishes include rice, and vegetables. When this lady, Yeong-Hye decides, because of a dream, to stop eating meat, her entire family’s life just takes a toss. Her husband’s, because she refuses to cook meat, and her parents and sister’s because they’re worried for her health.
    The book is divided into three parts, the first one consists of her transformation, essentially, and how her family reacts and tries to get her back to normal.
    The second one….I really didn’t see the point of. It was very….uncomfortable….to read. Yeong-Hye’s brother-in-law has a thing for her and decides to ask her if, for the sake of art, she’d be willing to be filmed, wearing nothing but painted flowers all over her. She agrees, and they later end up sleeping in her house, and are both found by his wife (her sister). She thinks they both belong in an asylum, because she finds them mentally unstable.
    The third and last part shows the relationship between Yeong-Hye and her sister. Every time she visits Hye in the hospital, she seems to have taken a new turn, for the worse. First, she stops eating, then she says she only needs to survive on water, and lastly, only on sunlight, because, according to her, she is turning into a plant. The ending was a little ambiguous for me, but it was kind of justified.
    The book was very very messed up, but as I said, it was an experience. Not one I’d go back to :p

  5. Eleanor and Park- Rainbow Rowell

    “She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn’t supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.”

    First I will talk about what I did like. I liked the characters. I liked how they had come full circle with their personality towards the end of the book, and I appreciate the writing style. It wasn’t overly simple or complicated, it was very good and engaging. Its what made me not hate the book, to be honest. Another thing, which may seem strange to say that I liked, but it was the portrayal of Eleanor’s family. It showed all the crap that she went through on a daily basis, and I liked that it wasn’t sugarcoated. It was raw, and very realistic, making the book not so bad. That’s kind of all I liked.
    Now. On to my rant. I liked the characters, as I said earlier, its just that I found Eleanor’s to be quite…self-deprecating…and not in the humourous way. She constantly keeps referring to herself as ugly, fat, or some synonym of that sort. I don’t get the point of so much emphasis on her looks, when on one side, people say ‘looks don’t matter’.
    Eleanor and Park don’t talk for quite a while in the book, and just read comics silently, sit, walk away, whatever, without exchanging a word. One day, I don’t remember why, but they finally start talking. It seemed like a very strange idea of ‘love’ to me, because it was leaning more towards the friendship side. Now, the blurb says ‘extraordinary love’, but to me, it wasn’t.
    One day they’re friendly, and suddenly they start saying things like ‘I don’t think I even breathe when we’re not together’, and ‘I want to eat his face’ and oh yes, ‘have his babies and give him both her kidneys’. I mean, he already has two kidneys, don’t you think four is a tad bit overboard? The ‘love’ aspect was way too rushed in my opinion, it can’t just happen so fast. I understand (not really) teen love and all that, but it was really weird. I don’t know why I was so frustrated when I read this book, I should have reviewed it when I finished -.- but I remember some things.
    The two of them sit outside in some park type place and they read an entire comic book for about two hours, because Park, being the nice guy he is, brings it right over to her when its released. After they’re done reading, she legit gets up, says she has to go, and walks away. Yeah, she just walks away. No thank you, no bye, no nothing.
    Park is a nice guy, ok. He’s really sweet and cute, and <pay attention> likes Eleanor for who she is. Like, he tries so hard to talk to her and be nice and everything, she kind of ignores him sometimes, I wish she didn’t. Every time I bring up a point, the I go in the back of my head ‘but she was abused’. I know she was, but that doesn’t mean its the reason for everything she does. She’s happy when she’s with him (I suppose), but then she goes on to flatly ignore him/be mad about nothing.
    There was this one scene where I wanted to rip my hair out. Park invites her over to meet his mom, who owns a parlour in the back of their house. They’re standing outside on his porch, and she starts to cry, saying, ‘What if your mom doesn’t like me?’ and he consoles her so she stops crying. They go inside, and sit on the couch, waiting for his mom, and Eleanor cries, again. No reason. His mom, I think, brings some snacks and keeps them there while she tends to a customer, and she starts to- yeah you guessed it- cry. And then, Park’s mom asks if Eleanor would like a small makeover, not because she is the typical ‘ugly girl character’, blah, but just because she wants to probably try and bond with the girl her son likes. Eleanor reluctantly says yes, so Park’s mom washes her hair, gives her some easy tips to maintain it well, and applies minimal, minimal, minimal, m i n i m a l, makeup on her. She has to leave for a few minutes when something comes up, and GUESS WHAT ELEANOR DOES? I’m not even going to say it. Park, man, poor guy, all he said was that she looks pretty. <remember the part where I said pay attention? yeah, I said Park likes her for who she is, and she still thinks he likes her now after the makeup> Eleanor went all teenage-drama-angst-fury-blah on him, and turns on him saying ‘Oh, you didn’t think I was pretty before this?’ <meditative breath> he.literally.calls.her.cute.all.the.freaking.time.and.she.smiles.too.now.what.the.hell. is.she.saying.
    azsexdrftyguilp,;zsexrdctfyvgubhinjomkp,lzrxdcfvbngtaeliughon;lv. <incoherent screeching> <– this is what I felt like doing the entire day, I finished it in one day.
    And to top it all of <SPOILER> Park is always the one telling her he loves her, she never says it back. I understand that abuse victims have trouble having commitments and relationships, I do, but when she can say things like ‘I can’t breathe when we’re not together’, why can’t she just at least tell him she likes him? I feel so bad for Park. And the ending was apparently ‘heartbreaking’….really? She basically sends a note to him, several months after she leaves to stay with her uncle, with something like ‘the three words’, or whatever.
    I have never been so frustrated with a book before. I wanted this to be a light read in between some of the more intense books I was reading, but I think this turned out to be more intense than the said intense books.
    Sorry Rainbow Rowell fans, I absolutely do not mean to offend anybody.

    Thats allllllllll. This year, I will try my best to write and upload more stuff here ^.^

My favorite books of 2017.


Hello! Sincere apologies for not uploading anything since September, i feel horrible. But I also didn’t want to upload just anything, so after watching a few youtube videos of people doing these best and worst books of the year, I thought I’d do one too 🙂 Enjoy! These are entirely my opinions, and I’m sorry if it is in conflict with yours, please don’t take it to heart 🙂

This first post will be the best ones, the next will be the worst <hides face>.


This is going to be a long list. I loved a lot of books this year, and I was very satisfied with my reading choices.

  1. Six of Crows/ Crooked Kingdom- Leigh Bardugo

    “No mourners, no Funerals.”

    Starting the year with Six of Crows was the best decision ever. I cannot explain in words how much I loved this duology. I’m not a major fantasy junkie, but with books like this, I keep falling in deeper into the abyss of the genre. Man, Leigh Bardugo is genius. G E N I U S. I haven’t read the previous Grisha Verse series, but I’m glad I picked these up.
    The characters were so…lovable is the most unexpected word for them, but thats what they were. I love Kaz Brekker. And Inej, and Jesper (he is just the cutest), and Wylan, and Nina, and Matthias (I internally mourned for two entire days after he was killed in the book, I’m not exaggerating I promise) 😥
    The story gets better and better with each page, and the character development is so realistic, for each and every one of them.
    The effects of the drug, jurda parem, was very fascinating to read in general, and it just got better when it was shown to increase the abilities of certain people. The descriptions of how the seas, air and other elements were under the control of people was simply brilliant.
    I could go on about this series, but I’ll stop now. I would recommend this to everyone who reads, no matter what genre you prefer. Its an experience, not just a story.
    P.S.: Jesper and Wylan. How can you not love them :’)

  2. Illuminae/ Gemina- Amie Kaufman, Jay Kristoff

    “I’m frequently underestimated. I think its because I’m short.”

    Another series I fell in love with instantly. The format, the story, the sarcasm, the characters (yes I put sarcasm before the characters xD I loved it that much), everything, it was simply brilliant. Its a hulking 600 pages (each) but I flew through each one in a matter of one or two days because they were that good.
    It is basically a dystopian setting, with travel and warships, Artificial Intelligence, extreme sarcasm, great characters, and the most unique reading experience I have ever had. You have to actually turn the book upside down, and sometimes round and round in circles to read the fine print, it is so cool. I loved that the entire book was pretty much a collection of hacked documents and chats, making the spellings and the context even funnier.
    It was funny, serious, intense, and also really cute in parts. I should have done a full review when I read it, I feel stupid now.

  3. Wolf by Wolf- Ryan Graudin

    “The wolves of war are gathering, they sing a song of rotten bones.”

    This book was also genius. I loved how the main concept had so many things all wrapped into one neat, tiny package. There was war, there was human experimentation, there was a motorcycle race, there was Hitler, there was the classification based on genetics, leading to genetic alterations, blue eyes, and tattoos. Yeah it doesn’t feel like it will fit, but trust me, it does.
    The premise: The Führer organizes the Axis Tour, a motorcycle race across Germany and Japan, and whoever wins gets the chance to be seen in public with him (Hitler) at the Victor’s Ball in Tokyo. Yael, who is a skinshifter, has gone through human experimentation and has five wolf tattoos on her arm, reminding her of the people she lost through the experimentation. She can shift into the skin of anyone, all she has to do is look at them and she can impersonate whoever it is. She shifts into Adele Wolfe, the Victor of the previous Axis Tour, and wants to win the race, but finds it a little hard to keep up the character as Adele’s twin brother, Felix and her former love interest, Luka begin observing her a little too much.
    The book has some of the best imagery I’ve ever read, hands down. There is a description of Holi, it was beautiful, and the usage of the color red as well, in several different situations was amazing to read.
    The ending was so unexpected, but so cool, I cannot wait to read the next book, I don’t know why I haven’t yet.

  4. Vicious- V.E. Schwab

    “I want to believe that there’s more.
    That we could be more.
    Hell, we could be heroes.”

    V.E. Schwab is genius. I know I’ve been calling pretty much every author/book genius, but I mean it. This woman is freaking genius.
    Victor and Eli start off as best friends and then turn into sworn enemies because of quite a few reasons. In their senior year, as part of their thesis, they decide to delve into the world of superpowers, the supernatural, and the extraordinary. They decide to conduct a series of experiments which result in near-death experiences, to test whether or not a person can come back to life. Two examples are- sitting in a bathtub and coursing current through it, and being stabbed multiple times. The experiments work, and they begin to hate each other with a passion because of their unexpectedly cold reactions to each other while the near-death experiences are happening. These experiments result in them turning into EO’s, or Extra-Ordinaries.
    Ten years later, Victor is out of jail, and aided by a young girl who has some stunning powers, wanting vengeance, and to catch up with his old best friend. Eli, on the other hand is on a mission to wipe out all the EO’s he can find.
    Both of them are driven by hatred, passion to get what they want, and mostly, the thought of revenge. The description of their powers are so real, you can almost see them play out in front of your eyes.

  5. The Diviners- Libba Bray

    “There is no greater power on this Earth than story. People think boundaries and borders build nations. Nonsense- words do. Beliefs, declarations, constitutions- words. Stories. Myths. Lies. Promises. History.”

    I cannot get over how cool this book was. Thats the best word I can describe it with- cool. Set in the 1920’s, the era of flappers, it was so refreshing to get a glimpse into that time period, along with one of the creepiest supernatural characters I’ve ever come across, Naughty John (John Hobbes).
    The book starts off with Evie O’Neill, who, at a party acts badly and is sent away by her parents to go live with her uncle for a while. Her uncle lives at the “Museum of American Folklore, Superstition, and the Occult”, where he is the curator, she finds it kind of embarrassing and strange, but she has no choice but to adjust.
    On her way to the museum, she comes across Sam, who picks her pocket, and then ends up coming to her uncle for work. She also meets Jericho, her uncle’s assistant, who is highly knowledgable but just as reserved. She has a friend, who she meets frequently and goes out with.
    One day, there is a murder reported with some branding of a cryptic symbol on the body, and that’s when the story really starts. At the crime scene, when she bends down to touch the woman’s hand, she suddenly gets a vision of some creepy tune being hummed, and the words ‘Naughty John’. She thinks its just a trick, and ignores it. As she goes to all the crime scenes after that, she realizes that she can see some sort of vision for each victim and realizes that she is a ‘seer’. She uses her abilities of being a Diviner to catch Naughty John, but oh wow, is he a creep. He’s a spirit who was hung ages ago, but is back to be the ‘Beast’, and has begun a series of killings, all numbered with references to the Bible as well as other Occult books.
    Very creepy book, great descriptions, cannot wait to read part 2. Its going to be my first book of 2018.

  6. A Darker Shade of Magic/ A Gathering of Shadows/ A Conjuring of Light- V.E. Schwab

    “Everyone thinks I have a death wish, you know? But I don’t want to die- dying is easy. No, I want to live.”

    Did I mention earlier that this woman is genius? I must have, but I’ll say it again- she’s a damn genius.
    Excuse me just one minute.
    Yeah, I’m good. This series was honestly one of the best series I’ve ever read. It dealt with so many unique and new, cool ideas, I was mesmerized. I finished all three books in under two months, and it took me that long only because it was on my kindle. I hope to someday own the physical copies.
    Kell, the protagonist, is an Antari, and can travel, not like normal people, but between the four Londons that exist in their world- Red, where he’s from; White, where magic is controlled by the higher powers, and everyone fights over it; Grey, where magic is slowly fading; and Black, where magic is nonexistent, for the good.
    He is part of the royal family (not royal by blood), and delivers letters back and forth between Londons for his King, and on the side, smuggles items and stores them in various places where no one can find them but him. A smuggling gone wrong results in him getting a souvenir from Black London, which ruins a large part of his life. He later saves the Prince, Rhy, who he is closest to, by bonding them with a mark over the heart, connecting them in a way that, what one feels is immediately felt by the other. And, if Kell dies, so does Rhy.
    He meets Delilah Bard, pick pocket, later found Antari, and they journey across three books, trying to stop war from erupting, basically, along with a lot of other people.
    I found the characters to be SO memorable, I loved every single one of them. Kell, Rhy (I have a massive soft spot), his boyfriend (can I call him that?) Alucard, Lila, Holland (why did the third book end like that :’| ) I loved every one.
    Since it was a trilogy, the development of the relationships between the characters was beautiful, there were ups and downs, obviously, and it was shown so beautifully. The sarcasm between Kell and Alucard, and Kell and Holland was perfect comic relief xD
    Okay I’ve written too much I’ll stop. Absolutely loved the books, PICK IT UP YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT.

  7. The Bear and the Nightingale- Katherine Arden

    ” Magic is forgetting that something ever was other than as you willed it.”

    The. most. atmospheric. book. ever.
    I didn’t fully understand the meaning of atmospheric until I read this book. I picked it up because it sounded like a good old Russian fairy tale type story, and I was not disappointed. The book started off a little slowly, but then picked up the pace so quickly, there was no stopping.
    It has all the elements of a good fairy tale- the evil, the stepmother, the sisters. But my two personal favorites were Morozko, the frost-demon (he’s like Jack Frost, essentially), who is based off of this tale- a lady sends her stepdaughter to Morozko, to get rid of her, and when the girl is alone in the forest, Morozko shows up and asks her if she is warm, and even though she’s freezing, she says yes and is very polite to him. He finds her to be nice, so he gives her clothes and a box full of jewels. When the stepmother tells her husband to bring back the girl’s body, he finds her with all these gifts. The stepmother sends her own daughter to Morozko too, who answers back to him, and insults him, ending in her death; my other favorite element was the usage of these creatures and spirits from Russian folklore, which just added so much to the book. They help her in many ways, because she helps them by giving them food and shelter.
    Anyway, the book’s premise- Vasya (Vasilisa) is a young girl who loves listening to her nurse narrate folktales to her and her siblings. When her mother dies, her father goes to Moscow to bring back a new wife. She brings with her, all sorts of strange things. Crops die, creatures believed to only exist in stories begin showing up to Vasya, and there are bad things happening in the village.
    Her stepmother has something against Vasya, and brings in a priest to keep her in check, and make her more lady like, but nothing works, and she is still the rebel she always was.
    Either way, the book has descriptions of wind, and frost, and how the air changes with the creatures, its simply beautiful.


  • The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry- Rachel Joyce
  • The Night Circus- Erin Morgenstern
  • The Miniaturist- Jessie Burton
  • Brave New World- Aldous Huxley
  • A Man called Ove- Fredrik Backman
  • Burial Rites- Hannah Kent
  • The Boy in the Striped Pajamas- John Boyne
  • Madmen and Specialists (play)- Wole Soyinka
  • Your Name (Kiminonawa) (manga)
  • Demian- Herman Hesse
  • Caraval- Stephanie Garber
  • The Language of Thorns- Leigh Bardugo (simply brilliant illustrations and tales)Thats all for this post! Sorry it got a little (too) long. Will be back soon with my least favorite books, look forward to my rants xD Bye!

13 reasons why (show rant review)


hello all, my hands are kind of shaking as i type this, because i am very scared of putting this up. the show was on a highly sensitive topic, and i do not want to be offensive in any way. this is completely just my opinion, and i, for one, rarely, and by rarely, i mean pretty much never, am open about my opinion. so i thought, maybe for once, i’d do it. this may or may not be a long post, i don’t know, I’m just going to write. hence, the lack of capitals, i apologize. also, i may use the word ‘shit’ a lot.

the only only only only reasons i didnt hate this show (I’m not going to say ‘liked’) were- Alex and Tony (to an extent). alex was the best character on the show for me, solely because he stood up for telling the truth, when shit characters like courtney said everything on those tapes were a lie, just to escape from the truths of her own life. i hated courtney’s character with a passion, she annoyed me to such an extent, i wanted to pull out my own hair.

now, reasons why i did not like this show/ did not appreciate it (don’t worry, I’m not doing a cliche 13 reasons, I’m just going to go on until i feel like I’m out of things). these are mainly just observations-

  1. to me, justin’s character some depth, that, after reading comments, seems to be overlooked. yes, he was drunk and let his ‘best friend’ rape his girlfriend, that was the one thing i hated about him. but, have you noticed his life at home? he gets beaten up all the time by whoever his mom is going out with, gets treated like a stranger by his mom, who always takes the side of whichever guy she’s going out with, is almost strangled to death in the last episode, but he never complains. and when he does talk about it, he only tries to talk to Jess, and then he leaves it there. he doesn’t bloody make everyone’s life revolve around him. I’m sorry for the language, but it makes me a little angry how everyone’s just calling him out for one thing, but ignoring what made him like that. his mom is- i don’t even have words to describe her. how could anyone be that nonchalant and ignorant towards their own son and support and do whatever their partner says? she doesn’t even remotely care about justin, and he leaves, he gets into trouble, he’s hurting, she doesn’t give a shit. it really makes you wonder how he handled all of it; it made me wonder, at least. he lived with all of it.
  2. okay, what is the deal with nobody telling their family or friends about whats happening in their lives? i mean, do you not want help, or do you just think its too uncharacteristic to ask for it? if you don’t tell someone, and still expect people to help you, or ‘see the signs’ (‘you’ being hannah), you’re being very unrealistic. if you want help, then for god’s sake, tell someone.
  3. bryce walker should be jailed. or die. or both, in succession. i hate him with a passion, and his attitude made me want to punch his face. i guess he played his role well then, making us hate him?
  4. this one is for the parents- i didnt see a single kid who had a proper family interaction throughout the episodes. not one. justin’s ‘parents’ are nonexistent; hannah’s parents were fighting, and this fool (I’m sorry) made that about herself too, saying everyone was mad at her; clay’s parents were sweet, but nobody paid that much attention to him, until stuff was starting to happen (fights, the subpoenas); alex literally called his dad ‘sir’. why can’t the parents involve themselves a little bit more? i don’t know ._.
  5. also, i really really really want to know. do kids really talk to their faculty as shown on the show? screaming ‘screw you’ and much more offensive swear words? seriously? at least have some respect.
  6. i liked tony’s character quite a bit, until he said to clay- ‘we all killed hannah baker’. YOU DID NOT FOR GODS SAKE, STOP. it was her decision, and nobody else’s and i fail to understand why he said that.
  7. now, my main problem with the show, hannah. i kind of detested her. i am not going to call her weak, because the circumstances made her that way, and she couldn’t handle it, i get it. but come on, she just blamed a dozen people, saying they were the reasons for her death, WHEN THE DECISION WAS HERS? okay I’m just going to be blunt here- 85% of her reasons were shit. shitshitshitshitshitshit. zach stole her compliment notes, so she put him in as a reason. wow. ALSO, HANNAH LIED ABOUT HIM THROWING THE NOTE IN THE HALLWAY. WONDERFUL. shows how much of an imagination she’s got, and how much she’s used it in conjuring up these ‘reasons’.
    her two best friends got together, theres another reason for you. okay honestly, id feel bad, but id also be happy that they were happy. but citing that as a reason for ending her life? really, i think its a little too trivial.
  8. this isn’t her reason, but i have a huge problem with this. at jessica’s party, when she tells clay to leave, he asks her why. he asks her at least three times, asking her whats wrong and if she’s okay, and if he did something wrong. she screams at him, telling him to get the hell out of there, and he still stays and asks her again, before leaving. and in his tape, she says ‘i was hoping you wouldn’t leave’, ‘i hoped that you would stay’. man, okay, if a girl is screaming at you to leave, face full of mascara, and sobbing, and looking furious, would you still stay? i know i wouldn’t. this is in reference to my point number 2- if you wanted him to stay, then why the hell did you scream at him to leave and still expect him to stay, its not his fault.
  9. she keeps saying throughout the tapes, ‘i wanted to tell someone’, THEN WHY DIDNT SHE? seriously, she could have told clay, her parents were nice too, why not at least tell them a little of whats bothering her? but noooo, she wouldn’t tell anyone, but she wanted everyone to just understand….? i mean-
  10. another thing i majorly fail to understand. i saw quite a few reviews that said this show made them ‘realize’ how suicide prevention was a thing, and drunk driving should be stopped. really? you didnt know all that before you watched this damn show? even on the show, its clear that there was no awareness about either one of the issues before something actually happened. they showed the hallways clearly, and it was well shot, showing the drunk driving posters after jeff’s accident, and suicide prevention posters after hannah’s death. if those were there already, I’m not saying there was a chance to stop either of the deaths, but still, would have been of some help, no?
  11. does anybody really believe that, if, one day, you get some ‘revelations’, or you get to know that you’d done something bad, would you, in the course of a few weeks, change your entire personality? i do not think its possible.
  12. clay, at the end of the last episode, tells mr. porter (after listening to the tapes) that, everyone should love each other better.
    um, I’m sorry, but did you not realize that in 17 years of your life? to treat people well, you had to go through all this to figure that out? you had to go through a friend’s death, and thirteen tapes to understand that you should be nice to people? what the actual heck.
  13. again, back to the reasons. oh hey look I’m at reason 13 too.
    i honestly found it shitty that she had to make up some sort of weird, messed up revenge plan, to get back at people or something, by recording these tapes. if she wanted to do something to herself, she didnt really have to make these tapes did she? now, i did my fair bit of research before writing this post, i read a couple of psychology students writing a review on the show. they said, firstly, that she was most probably suffering from depression, and if she was, then she wouldn’t have had the time, energy, or inclination towards making the tapes at all, let alone write the numbers neatly with nail polish, proceeding to paint her nails patiently afterwards. it really did strike me as some twisted revenge plan, like, ‘make everyone listen to what they did to me, so they can repent and feel bad about their life’. it was completely totally utterly unnecessary.
  14. another major problem i had, was the sheer scope the show had, but miserably failed to utilize. they could have done SO MUCH about creating awareness about mental illness, and suicide prevention as well. they did nothing, in my opinion. the fact that so many of the characters are going through so much shit in their life, is a definite possibility to explore mental illness and its effects. so.much.potential.left.wasted.
  15. oh, i almost forgot the bullying. how on earth did nobody from the faculty realize the bullying that was going on in the school? did nobody see kids crying alone, sitting alone all the time? and oh.my.god the principal cared more about ‘protecting’ his school than to prevent another accident. i think mr. porter even tells him about how he should care a little more about the kids too, instead of obsessing over the damn school, which is shitty anyway. in the last episode, where the principal comes to tell mr. porter about alex shooting himself in the head (this part killed me), he has no expression of remorse whatsoever, and just hurries off to probably come up with ideas to ‘protect’ his school.
  16. skye says ‘suicide is for the weak’. w r o n g on so many levels. i don’t get it- clay is so mad then, but in the end, he asks to hang out….okay…
  17. ryans character, i actually didn’t hate. i thought he spoke his mind and did what he wanted, without a care in the world. yes, he published hannah’s poem without her consent, but god, seriously, she put him on the tapes for that? he wanted the world to read the poem because to him, it was a work of art, he should have asked her, of course, but..my point is, no one knew for sure that she wrote it, it was all speculation, and yet, she thought everyone was judging her and proceeded to put him on the tapes. i think im going too literaturey on this. can’t help it sorry.
  18. was the suicide scene really necessary? i just don’t see the point in showing the scene in such a graphic way, i mean, isn’t the show supposed to be about the tapes, and not what happened before/after she recorded them? i really did not understand the point of showing it.
  19. lastly, for now, as a culmination of everything I’ve said above- hannah baker saying that a dozen people were responsible for her killing herself, is shit; hannah baker pushing people away, yelling at them, and STILL expecting them to stay, is the stupidest, more unrealistic thing ever; hannah baker making everything going on around her, about her, and complaining and whining about it all day long, just got annoying- for instance, the part where she loses 743$, the last bit of money her parents had, and is reprimanded for by them, makes it ‘the worst day of her life’- she freaking lost 743$, and oh no, they shouldn’t say a word to her? she says she’ll earn some money, and that she’ll give them her salary, but no parent would ever just say ‘oh okay sweetheart, thats great, lets forget about the money you lost’- they’re there to tell you when you’ve done something wrong, who else is going to?; hannah baker not asking for help, but expecting everyone to just know that something was wrong, is also giving off a highly wrong message; she should have asked for some help.
  20. bottomline- i think this show gives off a lot of unnecessary messages, and ideas to the audience.
  21. I didn’t want to say it, but the show made the idea of suicide a little too glamorous. and the fact that clay says he was too afraid to love her and that he couldn’t save her, is just sad. it’s so bad that the message that’s going out is that, having a partner will guarantee you a cure. hannah implies this as well, but it does not give a solid solution to controlling something. she can’t be certain that she’ll still want to be with him in a few days, or weeks, seeing how she is.

i am very sorry if this is offensive to anyone, but this is solely my opinion, which, as i said, i very rarely express. but this show pushed me to a point where i had to do it, or it’d all be stuck in my head for a very long time, messing with it. i don’t know what the hell is in store for season two, and why there has to be a season two, but whatever, maybe there’ll be another review then.

i may not know anything about bullying, depression, or suicide, but if you sense something wrong, with you, or with someone around you, PLEASE get help. don’t ignore it.